....friends in my loneliness

...........The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.
Yes you are right I created my loneliness in my life and at the same seconds of life you made my life beautiful.
I created the so called LONELINESS by not talking to you only but the moments I need you badly creates the loneliness.

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone"-as according to you  Orson Welles
And due effects of illusion Happiness comes to our life.And I am very sure about all the illusions both Love and Friendship.

Whenever we have the friend circle without limitations and that reflects in our life as Demonstration of Loneliness  just because of which we are surrounded by the Crowds .
...but  now though the crowds as accordance to their position still I am alone in my Loneliness.

Loneliness in the busy street

...on the behalf of my loneliness i have created and they are my intimate friends in this water bloom loneliness.

Me as my lifetime friend moreover:
me and my soul are two of my cousins and friends too.
rare in a moment I have to find them in my loneliness and they share each thoughts in my diary.
i share and quarrel with "me" just to demonstrate myself and "me" helps a lot & slaps,uses slangs on me.

Me as my friend

...now even if in the "water mark" like life though I am with you still  Me as my lifetime friend moreover:
you can't talk to me for a while and i have requested "Me " for that sake. However I am very okay with you coz you are enjoying a lot what i want you to be the part of enjoyment like seeing movie with saying as surrounding and birthday party. Leave me alone and i am very much comfortable with "Me". Thanks "Me" for all of your support.

...viewing my Blog and murmuring a lot what else in my loneliness
blogging is my another and may this is my best friend because for a while i always tell all of my tears & happiness to this and it teaches me to handle all types of situation and mostly i like it most.
If you are not in-touch with me or you are with me all the time you "My Blog" in front of you share all.

....my near and dear diary you are also my "Pen Friend"
you held my tears on your page and got to cause for my happiness in loneliness.you detailed my life as on your pages and gave me that much of courage to tackle all the situation.

thanks my virtual friends in my life which could not live without all of you......

Tears rarely not in front of you....

.....sorry sis kunchu!!!
what i did in the past and i am realizing today in your absence in three void rooms.
"The chair where you mostly sit there and for which i was the part of quarrel with you now missing all these quarrels."
"The room for which i quarreled with you now all three rooms are voids without you and all i missed you a lot."

....the days we were each other were my happiest days with my sisters basically i miss you a lot.
you are the loveliest sister and i miss all those quarreling moments.

...maa cried a lot in the station and i just hold on my tears in my eye though i want to cry by shouting.
but moreover i have to hold my maa and i couldn't watch on those tears. I couldn't think off what to do and only one sentence on my mouth "Maa!!! She is going to Hyderabad not to the in-Laws house and she is going to the destination which you want for her."

....in the railway station Munu was also crying but what she had in mind i don't know but i am sure she is remembering you a lot. kunchu!!! really you cared for munu a lot and may that was solly reason for tears on Munu's face.

By reaching home i can't control my tears behind my specs. I tried to speak up with you Gelu and you just left me an sms "Call you later.surr". Really i cried a lot on the roof and you Gelu not even if in the line.
if you speak up once may be some how i would cry a little and remember something else .
okay Gelu do not mind and you also got much pain away from your home.sorry Gelu but i want to speak up once. It's Okay.

.....now after a while Mama and Me are alone in my room and miss you Kunchu a lot...

I find myself in "Y" "O" "U".

Finally I felt your satisfaction on you because of me but you are the of course reason for the whole thing and for my life' smoother way. I always want to do a lot of things for you and may be it's the beginning of this life to do a lot of thing for you.

During my journey in Engineering may be now I am so much happy and the reason is You and only "Y""O""U"

I am crying when I'm getting you and when I find myself in you.

I am enjoying a lot when I'm with you and I when I find myself in you.

I am murmuring when I'm in a phone-a-distance from you and when I find myself in you.

I am chatting when I'm finding chatboard Hiii with you and when I find myself in you.

I know that You are sleeping a happy night after years now.

I know that now I am in your dreamz and You are behaving like getting bored with my chattar-pattar

I know that now we are in our dream night in your dreamz.

I know that we are very sleepy mood still we are talking so much.

Now I am collecting all the memories of my semester days how those were fantastic as well as painful days as like of our life something tastes bitter and something tastes so sweet.I enjoyed a lot as well got pain a lot feeling your pain of breathing.Sorry I was only in the phone with you but want to go and pat your shoulder every night before sleeping.That night I can't forget.Really I realized that I can't live without you.Those playful nights in the phone and all wo sab ladaai-jhagde I missed those a lot.After those days really I find myself in  "Y" "O" "U".

7th Sem way to feelings...

7th Seme xam ke wo thandi thandi hawa din raat padhte padhte yuhin gujar jaa rahi thi and kab jhagad rahe the to kab padh rahe the aur bich bich me aapko manaanaa achievement ke baatein kar ke ro padnaa. Kya thi wo jindegi jisme thi bahat saare Saraarat thodese majaak aur kuch descent way me padhai.

Crying!!!Crying!!!Crying!!!

I never cried for any momentz even if it was the worst moment in my life before those days when you were not with me . Now you're with me still i've cried for you not bcoz you but bcoz' for the fear of separation .

Sorry!!!Sorry!!Sorry!!!

May be "sorry". This word i've never used in my life.I donno why but may be the reason of not to care anybody and may be the one of the reason is that I hav the faith that usually i was not wrong at all. But in your matter and looking at you "You're always right".

Smile!!!Smile!!!Smile!!!

You and only you are the reason of my smile on my face after many years later may since fro my childhood.Everything what i did and am doing in my life and mostly where i'm now it'z just bcoz of you.

Now I wanna be the cause of your happiness...

THE  SILENCE  REALISER

My tensed heart beat more than 100 times in a minute. Because I was unable to predict the embarrassing and rotating moments that am going to face there. The journey was too tough, difficult and breathless. Stepping up of that small hill “Sikharchandi Hill” remembered me my golden child hood. Actually the place was quiet different than that I expected. Broken pieces of buildings(under construction),little curved roads...and quiet difficult to walk .

Lastly I reached my destination where there were crowds together in front of the office building and I also joined there without asking where to go. The most interesting thing was the curiosity of seniors rather than of us. That ED Hall welcomed us. I sat there more than 3 hours till my name made a call in my mind and ear drums. I feared whether my home sickness drag me back. I suppressed a lot expressed a little. Then in the launch hour, we faced a new thing from our seniors  so called as Interaction.

The journey starts from there the war between series exams, sleepless nights due to assignment, bunking, hearing gossips, bitter taste of grading, advantageous journey from college to home ,celebrations , chatting, facebook commenting, orkut, khatiis, hide n seek between someone, lastly going to bed everyday by praying for another day which would be better next day .

All the vital 3 years went out anyhow but now the time to see and to show your dreams towards your destination. Semesters, practical and projects were not enough to handle the engineering. And just after the semester , there was a murmuring sound so called “Campus Recruitment”!!! Is it the only way to show your destination? I think this is not. I think that was like the another semester to be held and where there was much more tension to do better but the only advantageous  thing was “there was no tension of back papers”.

Anyway…with the little time I do have to sit back, atop my roof and think              (we finally found a way up there and it’s incredible!) I’ve been reminiscing about the last four years and how great they have been. About all the good times and even the bad. About the tears we’ve cried and the laughs we shared, and most importantly, about the friends that have truly become like family—a family that is soon to part. It’s heart-breaking really.

But I’ve found a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve discovered something sweet in this simply bitter situation. It’s the start of something new and I’m actually excited about it.

In my engineering life, I was the “Silent Realiser” and now I’m not silent as describing my silent behavior. Really it’s a great achievement “to be in engineering rather than to do engineering”.

Knowing, nobody is permanent in anywhere. The time is moving fast even when my keypad moving in and fro motion. So let’s enjoy the rhythm and melody of each foot step. Because tomorrow may not be possible. So keep enjoying the every little moment of your life.

Many things happened in last couple of days like a year of works....
It's now the battle time, to win the battle i've to forget all my past performances tht i've earned earlier...

What to say to all my friends that really i learned a lot from my friends and have to learn many more things...
So thank you to all my friends & colleagues...